Institution Shminstitution

Hello! Today I would like to declare that I am now and forevermore, suuurrsly so free from the bindings that institution has tried (but failed!) to set on me.

I didn’t share this with many, but this summer, a lady whom I rear-ended at the end of my senior year in high school filed a lawsuit against me. She wanted to win a settlement for more moneys for damages from my family. Not surprisingly, my most overwhelming emotion was disappointment at myself for loading even more onto my parents’ financial burden. I want simply to get out of their hair and be a source of encouragement and even lightening of loads, not a bringer of annoying civil litigation. I mean, I do believe I’m finally getting rid of my brat costume and growing into a (somewhat) mature young lady. But this lawsuit seemed to pull me backwards along that upward climb. More surprising was this silently strong absence of fear about what would happen. Maybe it was the truth that had been instilled in me this summer, that money will never be my god. I reckon it has something to do with God actually assuming his rightful place as God in and over me.

I had an appointment to meet with my attorney tomorrow morning. But upon calling to confirm with her secretary, she informed me that the case had already been settled. I won’t need to be going in to discuss how to go about arguing my case because JESUS HAS ALREADY ARGUED IT FOR ME. Yet again, my Lord proves his sovereignty over errthang.

You see, it’s easy to claim God’s sovereignty over abstractions that don’t necessitate some kind of manifestation to be quantified and evaluated by society. Of course God is sovereign over my life, I’d say. But what does that even mean, and what legitimacy does it have, if I’m incapable of letting my actions reflect this claim in every aspect of my life?

I am immersed in and participate in institution every day. I do school, I need moneys, I act under the jurisdiction of the DMV, the Alameda County, the US Constitution, whatever else. So when I crash into a lady’s car and she files a lawsuit against me, I’m subject to pay whatever settlement is reached. And with this knowledge, the world has whispered lies into my ears, that its social constructs, not God, are sovereign over me, that my understanding of my potential to do in this world is founded upon institutions’ all-encompassing limits. That I’ll only get into law school with a certain combination of attributes, so I should spend my days slaving to stack my cards higher according to its standards, and let my assessment of self-worth come from that. That if I don’t reach a certain level of success coming out of the UC, some reputable career, a certain socio-economic status, or some quantifiable quality of life, then I am entitled to feel shame.

But I say (because the Holy Spirit is screaming into my ear) that the institution that so many people function to please, the sovereignty they have surrendered to it, actually belongs to God alone. I will participate and do work under its confines because I’m physically here, and God knows that. But He has renewed my conscious mind to understand that his omnipotence reigns over the institutions that I function under. So I’ll take the LSAT, and I’ll apply to law school, in freedom. And this freedom stimulates joy and a fire that never burns out, to run the race whose track is laid down by man, but whose finish line is the kingdom. His sovereignty, coupled with love, over me is good. Tis so very sweet to trust in Jesus.

Thursday Sep 9 @ 02:54pm