Nothing but a victim of His astounding love.
Whimsical Wishes
I’m thinking right now, that I want to wake up tomorrow morning without that feeling of wanting to go back to sleep. Then I want my hair to be magically straightened and put on a really soft fire orange-ish colored crewneck sweater. Then I want to drive to Panera, pick up a Chipotle Chicken Panini, go to a warm park and journal and QT and stuff. I want the sun to be warm but not blinding in my eyes and I want there to be a slight breeze, but not the kind that gives me goosebumps on the fatty part of the back of my upper arm. Then I want my stomach to feel as if I had already poo-ed out my panini. Then I want some of my friends to magically appear and start playing basketball on the basketball court at the park so I can watch them. I want them to have an intense game so that it’s entertaining to watch. After they’re finished with their game, I want them to magically be not sweaty and be changed into street clothes. Then I want to hang out with them some more at the park and part ways with them. Then I want to teleport to the beach with AiR and have a really good jam session sitting on lots of towels. Then I want to take a snuggly nap. When I wake up from the nap, it should be around 5 o’clock. Then I want to take the bus to the BART station and take the BART to SF. Then I want to watch a baseball game, and I want the game to be really fun and peaceful until the bottom of the 8th, when the home team hits a grand slam and everyone in the stadium gets passes for free personal pizzas from Round Table. Then I want to go back to my Berkeley apartment and be surrounded by friends until I fall asleep in my bed with them still hanging out without me.
Sometimes random wishes come to mind, you know? Hahah sorry if you didn’t want to read that and thought I was going to say something important.
Well, lately I’ve been realizing how alive my mind is, and how exposed it is to good and bad things. My mind is powerful to entertain thoughts that will either spiral me to doomsday or really help purify my heart. And something I desire more deeply than before is to exercise my mind to entertain and love good things of the Lord. Intentions are never enough. I want and need to actively pursue holiness in my mind first. Sometimes I think I’m exhausted, but actually I think I’m in the process of being transformed, because things don’t necessarily feel settled in me these days. I’m just going to stick to my plan of clinging onto the One thing I know works well.
Saturday Jan 1 @ 11:54pm