February 2012
1 post
In Every Season
Jesus must be confused that every season is Christmas season because he gives so so many gifts, all the time, every time. While I will cherish these gifts, I will take note not to forget the face of the Giver. I am so freaking well in my God and every good pruning and refining and growth he orchestrates in this little life.
December 2011
4 posts
Truths
That Your will is perfect, that Your sovereignty is coupled with love, that You were good yesterday, are good today, and will be good tomorrow is absolutely true. In every season, let Your beloved sing this to You full-heartedly.
This divine Truth is what drives the believer through storms. GET SOME
Prone to Wander
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it Prone to leave the God I love Here’s my heart, Lord Take it, seal it Seal it for Thy courts above
It’s astounding, the sense of homelessness I experience when I know I’ve wandered too far from His embrace for too long. Being apart from Jesus leaves me as vulnerable as ever to lies I’ve just escaped from, temptations I’ve just...
Listen
So Faithful, God
God is so faithful. I suppose I have consistently been embracing the truth of my freedom in Christ. Many opportunities have been opening up at me, internship/experience-wise, while I’ve remained unsure about how to go about playing the game and asserting myself at these people and organizations who might tell me I’m not worth investing in and feeding me lies about my worth.
And with...
November 2011
5 posts
Hangook
We all know about the situation in North Korea.
But in South Korea, more people commit suicide than in any other country in the world. More living breathing people with families and food to eat and freedoms and good friends, take their own lives, than in any other country in the world.
Something is wrong. :( I don’t really have much to say other than that I live in a fallen world. Always...
Occupy For the Love Of Money
This is not to undermine the current political and social pursuit of economic justice that is taking place today, literally today.
But in pondering everything that is happening with these occupy movements, it’s difficult for me to move past the notion that this mess of an Occupy movement - tensions between the people and the powerful - escalating to use of violence, reflects to me nothing...
Letter To Self From BAyUP
Yu-Shuan mailed us the letters we had written to ourselves at the end of BAyUP.
“…Do justice for the love and honor of the Lord, not for justice itself. Love kindness because Jesus has poured his kindness over you. Walk humbly with God because it is in your poverty, not riches, that the Holy Spirit will bring healing through you.
Have you stopped interceding? Has the passion faded?...
Community
This lesson is one that I’ve been learning for some time, but I want a somewhat comprehensive reflection about it written somewhere, so here I write.
I think it was only when God brought me to a particular point in my spiritual journey with him, a point at which I could sit there and say “LORD, I am actually deeply and utterly satisfied in You” that I could experience such a...
So Many Stuff.
This list of thoughts upon which I have been pondering has grown to 2 Word doc pages. Even when I am stagnant in my pursuit of deep relationship with Jesus, the Spirit never ceases to stir in me stuff. Things like:
Being in relationship and conversation with people who think differently is essential to my internal and external growth. I am constantly challenged to humility and openness, not only...
September 2011
4 posts
Hot Coffee
I love going to class, wow. (Except I wish I could say the same about the ESPM class I settled into taking.) I leave pretty much every lecture satisfied that I learned new stuff about the field God continues to excite me about, and/or being seriously thought-provoked with thoughts that I do believe the Spirit is guiding me in contextualizing to the kingdom. To me, this University of California is...
Thursday Nights Are Really Great
My only schedule free evenings of the week, and my gateway into the weekend. I like it because I am free to attend community events like Family Fun Night (tonight) or THE SCREENING OF ‘NEFARIOUS,’ NEXT THURSDAY 9/29, 7PM @ WHEELER AUDITORIUM. I also like it because it ends at 5pm, with a legal studies lecture that I enjoy, and I finally get to walk really slowly on the way home (I...
Institution Shminstitution
Hello! Today I would like to declare that I am now and forevermore, suuurrsly so free from the bindings that institution has tried (but failed!) to set on me.
I didn’t share this with many, but this summer, a lady whom I rear-ended at the end of my senior year in high school filed a lawsuit against me. She wanted to win a settlement for more moneys for damages from my family. Not...
A Day With Which I Am Deeply Satisfied
That day was today. Actually I’ve been satisfied with most of my days recently, but this day received an extra dose of good. After a quick 9am discussion section, I spontaneously decided to BART down to Fremont to hang out with my mums (afternoon lecture canceled!). Actually, I had planned on going out to SF to look for a bridesmaid dress, but realized it would be the same BART trip down to...
August 2011
2 posts
More Cohesive Reflections
Home from a week with San Jose Youth Symphony kids at their overnight camp, I’ve come away with more reflections. Almost directly after spending a month and a half in East Oakland with good old East Oakland folk, I spent a week at a retreat center in Felton near Santa Cruz with orchestra kids, their counselors, and conductors. The disparity between the two populations is huge, and I got to...
Reflections on My Last 6 Weeks & a Date with My...
Honestly, I am growing so intensely in this season. It is intense, dude. I have never seen the world from this high up; I see that I’ve barely been inches from the ground all this time. Can’t wait to really launch off. I have never known blessings to give so much life. These blessings come in knowledge (of myself, of commission, of purpose) and challenges that stem from God’s...
June 2011
2 posts
Why do I take prayer so lightly? Having gone through this experience of gathering support for BAyUP, I’ve found myself overwhelmed with gratitude at every person who has donated money to me. I feel like making them the most legit and beautiful thank you card I’ve ever made, because I feel indebted and so grateful. But when someone tells me that they’ll be praying for me, I answer...
When God takes away, I tend to call it a sacrifice. I am so self-righteous. Tonight, it hit me that the very things that are happening in my life are so much bigger than me. I can literally see mountains being loosened from the ground and ready to be shifted like mad on this spiritual terrain in my relationships and communities. Today, I dared pray that I would be filled with great spiritual...
Life
Being right with God makes pain really beautiful.
May 2011
2 posts
invisible but EPIC
valleys and trenches partnership transparency and humility patience and endurance testimony understanding intimacy and selfless, God-centered, Agape love breakthrough reconciliation beginning of healing Glory where it is due. yeeee PTL \ o /
April 2011
2 posts
23
The Lord is my shepherd, and I shall not want. God is showing me what that really means, for Jesus to be my shepherd. For him to be enough, and for me to still want-yearn-desire-long for possession-feeling-familiarity, and tell him “no, you’re not obviously not enough.” (Totally mutilated sentence, but don’t really care.) I am his sheep though. He is my Father though, when...
March 2011
2 posts
Lead Me To Your Heart
I know when the instructions have come from God because of their quiet persistence. But when I begin to weigh the pros and cons, and doubt and debate enter into my mind, I am bringing in an element that is not of God. … Faithfulness to Jesus means that I must step out even when and where I can’t see anything. But faithfulness to my own ideas means that I first clear the way mentally....
Trying To Get My Academic Bars Up
^Just tryna relate to my hip hop rapping brethren who talk really weird. I have been freaking out and absolutely restless for the past 8 or 9 hours, avoiding this rather easy but tedious paper. I’ve learned that a Mocha will do nothing for you, but a Latte with some brown sugar all mixed up in there will have you jumping off the walls and dance-battling in the hallway (I’m sorry to all...
February 2011
5 posts
The Lord
The Lord is sovereign and good in every season. I thank him that he is revealing to me his presence in the community I quietly yearn for. I pray that whatever we endure on this earth becomes for his glory, and that we’d know that his glory trumps every hardship and blows away every good thing on this earth. We serve and are beloved by the King. How inspiring.
Writing Down Things Before I Forget Them
I was thinking while walking home from North Gate after my last lecture of the day, that I am obviously destitute without Christ. And so my thoughts turned to a prayer of sorts, declaring to God that yeah, “I’m absolutely nothing without Your presence in my life.” Then I pondered the thought of ever daring to tell someone that I am nothing without him. The statement renders me...
V
Last week, I struggled with a spirit of bitterness chained to me like fetters on my ankles. I was a slave to my own pride and let it throw me around. Last week, I fell into temptation without much of a fight and put myself in situations not glorifying to the Lord. Last week, I didn’t even really read the Word and spiritually bummed around.
But then Jesus was like “nuh uh.”
As I...
I Am a Girl
I am a girl who really really needs Jesus. Like really really.
My Dream My Dream!
Hi. So I came home after a class today with a considerably severe case of body ache and other really great symptoms of being some kind of sick. So I bulldozed through the evening, napping from around 6:30 to 10:00pm. Am I embarrassed, you ask? Not at all my friend, because I had a dream.
It was pretty vivid and a lot fuller when I had first woken up, but the dream basically went something like...
Redemption
So I am having my eyes open to the wretched person that I am. I experienced a subtle but profound revelation recently, of how my heart is still tainted with ugly splotches of pride and preoccupation with my self-worth. I thought I was doing right by desiring a holy life for myself, that I would be blameless before God and find favor in his eyes. And having my desolate humanness revealed to me just...
January 2011
7 posts
Whimsical Wishes
I’m thinking right now, that I want to wake up tomorrow morning without that feeling of wanting to go back to sleep. Then I want my hair to be magically straightened and put on a really soft fire orange-ish colored crewneck sweater. Then I want to drive to Panera, pick up a Chipotle Chicken Panini, go to a warm park and journal and QT and stuff. I want the sun to be warm but not blinding in...
SO GOOD! SO PRECIOUS :) EVERYONE LISTEN.
...
Yay New Semester
This is the requirement of the law that the LORD gave Moses: Gold, silver, bronze, iron, tin, lead and anything else that can withstand fire must be put through the fire, and then it will be clean. But it must also be purified with the water of cleansing. And whatever cannot withstand fire must be put through that water. On the seventh day wash your clothes and you will be clean. Then you may...
Letters
Dearest Friend, Thank you for this most wonderful experience of esoteric emotional and spiritual understanding, among the highs and the lows. You see my struggle for holiness, and you don’t know how much it means that you’re rooting me on, how it uplifts me. I earnestly pray for you as I would pray for myself. Your joy in the Lord is your best gift to me; my heart for that is my best...
December 2010
8 posts
My Other Tumblr! →
So I guess I’ve been thinking about/meaning to do this for a while. I can’t imagine my life being a life filled with music without it being music for the Lord. I’ve enjoyed worshiping God through music on my own in the past, but by his grace, I think it has the potential to encourage someone else of his goodness.
I put together this new tumblr to keep adding arrangements,...
Knowing the Will Of God - Note to Self
Knowing God’s will isn’t about having access to a magic 8 ball that reveals to us the sovereign will of God. Instead, it involves an intentional and meditative saturation of the mind with his Word. This would allow me to understand the trajectory of his already-spoken commands and renew my mind into one not of this world.
For so long I’ve sought to know God’s sovereign...
Vhzzzzhhhh
^That is the sound of a rubber band stretching. Wow, my intros to my updates are really great, aren’t they?
Something I’ve been noticing is that I could stretch myself so much further than I dare to try. I see it in my intellect, my music, my physical health, in everything really.
When I write, I write with the same tone and threshold of verbal color. There are beautiful writers I...
In The Secret
Thank You, for bringing me into the secret place. It is so good to be here.
Where I'm Home
Prayer is where I’m home. Oh Looord, this is so true. How right it is when I lift my cares to my Father? Everything is made right for me in prayer. The Holy Spirit saturates my understanding of company; I’m snug in the essence of being WITH God. It’s satisfying like solving every enigma I’ve ever encountered. So easy a caveman could do it. Praise the Lord for the authority...
Freeeeeeeeedom Again!
I definitely took some ultra risky naps in the wee early hours of this morning. I had stayed up pretty late doing whatever the heck I wanted with my last 8am final today. I’ve learned from past experience that I really should refrain from entering my warm and cozy bed when I know I need to study or wake up early, but I did anyway. But Jesus woke me up. Briskly walked to VLSB with the cold...
Not Free But Still Really Free
So Josh just asked me in the elevator on the way back from Strada, “How late are you going to stay up?” And I said, “However late the frick I want.” And it was so.
I am so free right now; it is a spectacle to behold. I love you Jesus.
Living Life
A friend of mine always reminds me, “Hey, you’re living life, and Jesus loves you.” Isn’t that so true though? Whether I’m weary or excited about something or somewhere in the middle, this is now, and I’m living it. My perspective is what makes it good or not.
I guess that was an intro to me just rambling on about how I have been.
A good word to describe my...
November 2010
6 posts
Cherries
Our Father is a dad who spoils us, like a good dad should. I’m not saying that dads should let their kids become/act spoiled, but because his love cannot be contained, he absolutely rains down blessings. I don’t think God would let me act spoiled anyway; and it’s my greatest joy to receive from him because I know I don’t deserve any of this… this gem of a life I live...
Break!
I am mega excited for this upcoming week of time at home. I have come up with a list of things I really want to and will do while back in Fremont. No idle oversleeping and sitting in front of the TV until 1pm. More and more things in life excite me these days, so it’s perfect timing that I get to go home to do all of these activities. So without further ado, the list:
Long chunks of QT time...
I Feel Good
After a rather exhausting week being dragged along by my last midterm and other fun things to do, I came home last night and felt sooo good. Thursdays are the longest days for me, and I came home after actually sitting through the entirety of Gospel Choir (quite the great feat), did an hour of P90X with the roomie PYang (hayyy!), and showered. It felt so good I tell you! Because this morning, I...
Eeeee!
I’m in this phase of excitement or at least anticipation. I anticipate a more colorful intimacy with God (most exciting thing ever). I anticipate more vibrancy in my new and old relationships, in prayer, in my music, in my family, in the work I’m doing for things I care about. I’m excited for Christmastime and just to go home for Thanksgiving. But honestly, realizing that I can...
Fffhewww!
Thank you, God. He got me through this extraordinarily long day with an honest prayer and a pleasant phone call in the middle :) All I need and more, I already have.
Compassion & Beauty
Reading through the book of Genesis and actually paying attention to the details, something kind of random stands out to me. It has nothing to do with the main characters whom God interacts with most in these stories. For some reason, I keep dwelling upon the seemingly unimportant characters, and I’m realizing another very real facet of God’s character - one of great compassion.
Hagar...